


What took me here

by valerierosemberg



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Ana (mentioned), Balthazar (mentioned), Cute Ending, Destiel Day, Fluff, Gabriel (Mentioned) - Freeform, Gen, Kinda, M/M, Memories, POV Castiel, September 18, rated T just in case
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-20
Updated: 2016-09-20
Packaged: 2018-08-16 04:04:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8086453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valerierosemberg/pseuds/valerierosemberg
Summary: Castiel can remember his existence from the very start, to right now.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to go up yesterday, but had a hard time because everything that my head came up with was poop and it was 11 pm when I got this idea.
> 
> But I still hope you like it.

He thinks about Heaven, not Heaven now, nor when Michael used to rule it, he think about Heaven when it was peaceful, when the weight of God's leaving wasn't there and he was still learning. He remembers Gabriel, standing next to him on a shore, quiet for the longest time he had ever been.

He thinks about that weird little fish that crawled out of the water and into land; he thinks of the big smile he gave him when he warned him to not step on it.

His thoughts go to a not so happy place, when everyone started leaving, Lucifer was cast to the Underworld, God went away -not that Castiel had ever laid eyes on his father- and then there was the most painful leaving, Gabriel; he was finishing his training with Ana when it happened, usually the archangel would appear and take him either to Earth or to visit the few pieces of Heaven that existed at the time, but he didn't show that time. He had heard his older brother's sorrow over the current events, but that particular time, he had been quiet, for the first time in a long while.

It took a while before Ana decided to talk to Raphael about it, Castiel wasn't doing his rounds, or his training, he would only wait still by that shore, he waited for Gabriel; his older brother took the most obvious course of action, he "beat the crap out of him", as his best friend would say, and made sure he was back in line.

After that, it was lonesome, with the ocasional company of Balthazar who spent too much time trying to bend the rules and visiting the human world, Castiel can guess why he found his friendship comforting at the time.

He can't remember how long it was since his brother left until January 29th of 1979, and that day, he felt something stirring around him as he was doing his rounds, making sure all Heaven's doors were secure, the pull was almost electric, and it came from Earth.

He thinks of Balthazar by his side, making dismissive remarks at the new born who was destined to be the most powerful weapon of all of creation, and Castiel ignored him, he could feel the child's power, so strong he couldn't believe no one else mentioned it, but he wasn't sure how that power could be one of a weapon, it felt so warm.

And the baby grew into an infant, marveling the angel who watched every moment he wasn't on his post, humans grew so fast, they learned so much in so little time, but they also died so quickly -and somehow, for the first time, that thought made him sad.

May the 2nd came too, and with confusion, the angel tried to feel this child's power just as he had felt with his brother, but no electricity came his way, no strange feeling or rush came from the small human.

Six months passed, and it took all in him to obey his orders and let "destiny" -what a cruel joke that word turned out to be- unfold.

As the two boys grew, Castiel not only could feel the power irradiating from the oldest, he found himself being able to see small glimpses of his soul, a beautiful soul beaming with great light, slightly resembling Michael's grace, but even more beautiful in the angel's eyes; none the less, it confused him further to develop this specific ability-seeing it only happened with Dean-, as far as he knew then, the only ones able to see human souls inside their bodies were archangels.

With Ana gone, the garrison at his command, he received the orders almost gratefully, he had to save the object of his constant turmoil.

He slashed and killed every demon that crossed his way, losing brothers and sisters who fought by his side, but determined to save this man.

The vivid memory of reaching that beautiful soul and hugging it tight against his grace felt natural; it makes him smile to think of that moment as the one that he was destined to end right were he is now.

With careful manners, the angel took the body of that man, taking care of its multiple wounds and feeling sadness creeping over him with the thought of Michael using this body as a vessel, the body belonging to the most beautiful soul he had ever laid eyes on.

But he didn't understood Castiel when he spoke, something that reminded the angel how different he was from himself, making him think this was another task to be fulfilled and nothing more.

He remembers the panic he felt when that woman named Pamela tried to see him, and succeeded eventually, and his smile disappears.

He thinks fondly of Jimmy Novack, on his family, on the completely devoted way he gave up his life to become his vessel, a vessel that later became his own body.

Then, he met Dean in that old barn, standing in front of the man was much different than all the other ways the angel had been confronted by his shine, he felt the need to listen, to follow, this man through thick and thin, somehow knowing no wrong could come from it.

And, shaking his head, he remembers all of what was brought by that feeling, images cross his mind like they did back at the mental hospital the night he lost his mind in favor of saving his friends; the Apocalypse, the unexpected conclusion of it, the flames from the cage as he tried to save Sam from it, the deceive, sadness, power, guilt, fear, then more guilt and pain, all the emotions he was never supposed to feel, all tied to that man and his soul.

He looks back once more at the choices he made, at the wrongs he committed, every single time thinking he was making the right choice, and he'll be damned if he didn't say free will was a "bitch".

But finally, he looks at was he has in front, the empty floor of the place where his home lays.

He gets up from the bed, not entirely sure how long he had been sitting on it and starring at nothing while remembering, he breathes deeply and heads outside the room.

Loud noises come from the room he's heading to, and as he enters it, the clear laughs can be heard coming from the three Winchesters sitting on the table filled burgers, fries and three different pies.

-Took you long enough!

Immediately, his eyes fly to the owner of the voice, their eyes locking together and a different type of smile appearing of their faces.

Mary and Sam clear their throats and that brings them back to the table, the angel taking a seat right next to the -oddly enough- oldest Winchester.

-Can we eat now?

The tallest man asks his brother with slight mock in his tone, making their mother give him a scolding but amused look.

And a nod is all it takes before everyone fills their plates with junk food. Even Castiel does it despite not being able to taste any of it.

-So what's so special about today?

The blonde woman looks at his oldest son, waiting an answer.

The man takes the beer in front of him and takes a swing of it.

-Nothing...I mean, it's nice to just seat together in family and eat something homemade, but greasy once in a while.

The usual salad lover on the other side of the table makes a small sound at that and they can all tell she's not buying it, but no one says a word.

Once they finish, Dean offers -or demands- to wash the dishes, and Cas asks to join him.

-It was a nice dinner, Dean.

Without looking up, the man agrees, concentrating really hard on one of the plates.

Once silence fills the room and there's nothing left to do, both stay there, standing in front of the sink.

-Hey, Cas...

The angel gives his attention to the man instantly, and is met by a pair of green eyes almost glowing and fixed in his.

-Thank you...really.

Before the other can response and assure him there's no need to thank him for anything, he cuts him off.

-Just take them, please. Today...it was the first time you saved me, but not the last; I'm sure eight whole years of saving my ass deserves a good thank you.

Castiel scrunches his nose in disapproval, shaking his head.

-I don't see it like that.

The hunter looks at him in confusion.

-I like to see this day as sort of like an anniversary.

The word takes Dean by surprise, his eyes widening and mouth opening to say something, but not able to think of what.

He gets closer and wraps his arms around his companion, hugging him tightly.

Then something happens, they don't know how or why it happens, but they separate enough to look at each other, and it feels natural to place their foreheads together, closing their eyes and breathing each others breath.

It's just for a second or two their mouths connect in a small peck, and then they're embracing each other again.

It's after a couple minutes that they go out of the kitchen and into one of the common areas of the bunker they transformed into a living room.

Mary and Sam receive them with a smile and turn their heads to the T.V. where "The princess bride" is playing.

They sit on the couch next to each other, Dean wrapping an arm around the angel's shoulder.

Castiel notices with a smile the nudge the blonde gives her son, who right after, takes something from his pocket and hands it to her with a happy sigh.

He could remember everything he went through before and since meeting the Winchesters, the good, the bad and the worst, but he could tell by the warmth he felt, not just on top of his shoulder, but inside him, that if it lead him to this place, to his family, it had been worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> Yep, Mary made a bet with Sam.
> 
> I could've written every single chapter with Cas on it from this kind of perspective, but I thought then it wouldn't be a one-shot and I would've fried my brain.
> 
> Hope you like it.  
> Feel free to comment and I hope you have a wonderful day/night n.n


End file.
